And what an exciting, challenging, joyful, exhausting, adventurous, unpredictable 3 months it has been!
Things I have learned these past few months....
All babies are different. I have learned this not because of my experience with babies (which was virtually none before Silas came along) but because of what I have heard, read and seen. Many parents who have more than one child would explain that one of their children was such a good baby, while the other was a complete opposite. I look at other parents in the grocery store with jealousy as their young babies are sound asleep in car seats, strollers, and carriers, while I am making a mad-dash through the store before Silas may or may not have a complete meltdown (and yes I just fed and changed him right before I left the house). I can say I am pretty sure Silas has not been the easiest baby... not an absolute terror, but definitely challenging, and often inconsolable. And we are not failing as parents because of this.
Feeding a newborn is more intensive than expected. I feel like I was pretty well prepared for life as a new mom from all the books, blogs, magazines, websites etc. I knew it would be hard, I knew breastfeeding would be challenging, I knew an eight hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep would be something I would soon know nothing of, but I did not realize how often I would have to feed this baby. Every 2 to 3 hours in their first weeks of life even if the baby is sleeping, WHAT, I thought you never wake a sleeping baby? It seems there were times when we FINALLY got Silas to sleep, we would look at the clock, and realize he needs to feed again soon. AAHHH. When the baby starts to put on weight and is sleeping longer stretches it is not quite as critical and there is no need to wake them, but guess what!? if you are breastfeeding you will probably still need to pump regularly to keep up your supply. I was looking forward to the sleep I would get our first night away from baby, forgetting that I could not sleep TOO long without a pump session.
Fragmented sleep can feel just as bad as no sleep. I can say there was never a night in those first weeks that I didn't get any sleep and usually we actually ended up getting about six or seven hours a night. But it was an hour here, two hours there, and once awake, its not always easy to fall to sleep right away again (even if baby is). A night of this is exhausting and makes for stressed out parents in the morning. Being able to stay at home helps because I could always nap when Silas does (but I found this very difficult as I just wanted to get things done around the house when he slept). It seemed as he started to sleep longer stretches at night, he also became more restless in his sleep, grunting, and straining, and tooting, and wiggling and making all sorts of noises, all while he was still asleep. I recall one morning in particular... it was about 6:30, I had JUST fallen back asleep after a 5 AM feeding, but awoke shortly after to his "noises" and promptly picked up the bassinet, with Silas in it, angrily plopped it in his nursery and slammed the door shut. I had had enough! But then I proceeded to have a nightmare about forgetting about him and leaving him somewhere. He was brought back in our room that night...
It helps to get out (sans baby). If someone offers to babysit, take them up on it. As much as we love our new baby boy, it really does give you back a sense of that freedom you once had when you can get out of the house once and while without the baby. It kind of revives you. I remember when Silas had just turned a month old, it was Friday morning, and I was on the verge of a breakdown (baby wanted to wake before I did and exhaustion and anger was setting in hardcore). My phone rang, it was my mom offering to babysit that night if Jordan and I wanted to go out for dinner (almost like she knew what was happening at that very moment). Yes YES YES!! Getting out once in awhile also gave me back that sense normalcy again, like a real human being out in society...not in pajamas or sweats, hair actually somewhat done, no-spit up on my shirt...
Through everything though, nothing has been quite as great as those first smiles, those first coos, seeing every new little development and seeing him change everyday. And just thinking about the fact that we created this super cute baby (yes, he IS the cutest baby on earth) is an amazing feeling!!!
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aden + anais swaddle wraps we use these for swaddling during naps; also great just to have to lay on the floor or a couch for the little one to play on. we always have one in the diaper bag.
2.
sassy Playmat we got this as a gift by recommendation (thanks Jamie and Amy!) and it has been great at entertaining Silas, as well as building his developmental skills. he loves batting at all the hanging doodads! (any playmat would do, this is just the particular one we have-- there is another great one out there that had a keyboard for kicking).
3.
Fisher Price Rock n Play another gift we did not register for but has been a lifesaver (thanks Melissa!). we kind of broke the rules of safe sleep by letting Silas sleep in here during the night occasionally his first few weeks, but he did not want to sleep on his back and was dealing a bit with acid reflux. now we just use it for daytime catnaps and just to hang out in. we also bring it with us if we are going to be at someone's house for awhile for a place for him to rest when not being held.
4.
Halo Sleep Sack these have been great for nighttime sleep, as he tends to wiggle himself out of the swaddle blankets (the sacks keep him in tighter). we got a free one from the hospital, and another free one from another program. we have gotten so much use out of these (but he grew out of them quickly).
5.
Boppy i use this for just about every feeding at home. also can be used for propping to sit, and tummy time. different stages of use are diagrammed right on the tag. voted number 1 for products mommys can't live without!
6.
Summer Infant Swaddle Me it was easier to find these in larger sizes than the Halo sleep sacks so we transitioned to these after he outgrew the sacks. they come in a bunch of fun prints as well!
7.
NUK Pacifiers i remember our first night at home was rough.... Jordan and I took turns between trying to get Silas to sleep and try to get some sleep ourselves. at one point I awoke and was surprised to not hear a crying baby. it was the pacifier that saved us those first few weeks. the Nuks worked best!
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