Interested in my birth story?
We arrived at the hospital at 4AM. We were showed to our room and I got into that lovely hospital garb. Over the next few hours I was checked into the system, hooked up to the monitor and IV (in which I almost passed out because the needle was put it wrong at first, yowza), and was asked some general questions. I was then given Pitocin to get things started (although I actually was having contractions before they even medicated me to do so!) Around 8AM my doctor arrived and broke my water... what a weird sensation!! I was only at about 3cm at that point. My water leaked and leaked over the next several hours, making it feel like I was continually peeing myself... very gross. My mother showed up between 10 and 11 and that's when I first started to feel the contractions.
Over the next several hours the contractions intensified. My nurse would occasionally check in on me and ask what my pain level was on a scale from 1-10.... the number slowly rising. She did not check my cervix very often, but was more interested in the amount of pain I was feeling. Around 1:30PM or so, my mother was curious as to what my dilation was and asked the nurse to check me. I was only at about a 4/4.5, which was discouraging because I was feeling a lot of pain and I was hoping I was further along (my goal was to get to at least 6 before getting any pain medication). The nurse left and I endured a few more contractions before I feel like I said "I can't go through another one of those". I called the nurse back and said I needed something for the pain. She offered something that would "take the edge off" or the epidural. "Taking the edge off" did not sound like it would get rid of the pain, so I said "give me the epidural". I felt bad about it at the time, but the nurse made me feel better about my decision.
Of course, by the time I asked for the epidural, the anesthesiologist had one ahead of me. Meanwhile, the contractions were getting closer and closer together (what felt like every 45 seconds) and I was in so much pain I had pretty much stopped speaking (I also asked for something to throw up in "just in case"). The only position that felt somewhat remotely comfortable for me while I breathed through the contractions was on the bed gripping the side bars with all my might... I did not want to move, not even to go to the bathroom. Jordan asked if I wanted music, if I wanted to go in the tub, if I wanted to sit up.... no, I just wanted the pain gone.
Finally (maybe about 45 minutes to an hour after I asked for it), it was my turn for the epidural. Jordan and my mother left the room as neither one of them wanted to watch the needle go into my back. I don't blame them. I was told to sit on the side of the bed, my feet were propped up, my hair was pulled back and the process began. At this point I was such a hot mess, I had lost all dignity in regards to the way I looked or what people were looking at. And this was probably the worst part of my labor.... not because of the needle going in my back, but because I had to deal with these crazy, painful contractions in a super uncomfortable position, with nothing to grip onto and in between the three, yes three, attempts to get the epidural in properly. They asked if I ever had back surgery or a fusion because for some reason it just was not working.... I thought great, I am not going to get any relief from this pain, and then finally, they got in! (Side note: I will say the actual pain from the epidural was nothing... just a tiny prick. I could do that all day in comparison to the contractions). Jordan and my mother wondered what the heck was taking so long, and said it was probably about 45 minutes later when they came back in the room.
Suddenly, I felt great, I was on cloud nine. I had a break, I could relax. The nurse checked my cervix to see where I was at. After feeling around for a minute, an odd look fell upon her face. "Hmm, I think you are at a 10, you are ready to go." "Are you serious?" She got another nurse to check for a second opinion, maybe a 9.5, the second nurse said. I did not want to push yet! I wanted a minute to just lie there and sleep or something! She gave me an hour to "labor down" while she let my doctor know my status and got everything ready for delivery (my bladder was also emptied at this point - also very weird). I could not believe it. I felt somewhat proud of myself though, because in actuality I never really knew how far I was dilated before I got the epidural, but I am guessing I was at least a 6 if not a 7 or an 8 or even 9cm. Soon I would be pushing, and soon I would be holding my baby in my arms. So scary and exciting!
I had always thought when it came time to push, the pushing would take anywhere from 5-20 minutes. My nurse said I could be pushing anywhere from a half hour to two hours. Holy cow. I also thought there would be some sort of sheet and a tiny amount of coverage as I straddled my legs in the air. Nope, no sheet, no privacy whatsoever... just all out there for anyone in the room to see. Whatever, at that point you really don't care. So, it was time (it was probably 3 something in the afternoon at this point). My doctor arrived in his scrubs and accessed the situation. I was SO numb I really had no idea how I was even going to push, or how to push. My doctor said just push like you are having the biggest bowel movement of your life. At every contraction, my legs were pulled back (one by the nurse, one by Jordan) and I was told to push for 10 seconds, deep breath, push for 10, deep breath, push for 10. And push I did, although I didn't really know where I was pushing from. I was told I was doing a good job, but I really couldn't tell. All sorts of stuff was coming out of me; there was definitely a "bloody show" (and I still wonder sometimes how Jordan can look at me the same way.) About a half hour into the pushing, I was literally exhausted.... I could barely keep my eyes open I was just sooo tired, but I had to keep pushing. Soon, the nurse said she could start to see the head as I pushed!! Oh, and he has hair!! Still pushing. Finally, it was getting close! The doctor was called in (and it was close to two hours of pushing, I may add). I pushed for the doctor and he said "Yup, we are ready to deliver this baby!" I pushed a few more times, and out he came (cord around his neck, which the doctor was not expecting, but he was fine). He was wiped off just a bit, and then placed on my chest. Silas was here and he was beautiful!
He was a fairly big boy, and in turn, took a a tole on my body. My doctor said I had a pretty bad tear and he needed "some friends" to help stitch me up. Although not quite as severe as he originally thought, I did have a 3rd degree tear, and at one point there was 7 or 8 different doctors, nurses, etc in the room all just staring at my ass, and apparently seemed quite intrigued and fascinated by what was going on down there. I did not even care, as my baby was born, and healthy and in my arms. An hour later, they were finally done fixin' me up, and the grandparents could finally come in and meet our new little guy.
Overall, I was happy with my experience. If and when I do it again, I will probably ask for the epidural sooner. I am glad I felt the pain I did, but I would not want to feel it again (it really is the worst pain I had ever felt in my life). It would have been nice to say I delivered my baby without any drugs, but the way I see it, if there is something to make you feel better and it is safe, why not take it.
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