4 month sleep regression & my dirty little secret

So Silas turned 4 months old on Friday, December 6.  Oh my goodness, time is flying and he is growing way too fast and I know everybody says that, but it is true.

 He had a great check up at the doctor and his pediatrician said he is very active compared to most 4 month old babies and it looks like he is going to be a little athlete. Silas is in the 91st percentile for height and 51st percentile for weight.  He did great with his shots, and even smiled at the nurse who gave them to him as she walked out the room!

At four months, Silas can roll both from front to back, and back to front.  He loves to flail his limbs, bounce on our laps, stand (with our help of course) and everything must go in his mouth.  We are still waiting for a full belly laugh, but there is squeaking and squawking and lots of "ahh-ghoo"ing.  He has started rice cereal, but isn't quite sure how he feels about it yet.  Next week, we will try a vegetable!

Along with Silas turning 4 months old came a little something which we discovered to be called 4 month sleep regression (this blog post describes it to a tee: Wonder Week 19 aka 4 Month Sleep Regression). We were doing great with sleeping at night.  He had fallen into a pretty decent routine of bedtime around 9:30; I would feed and change him once, usually around 4AM, and then he would sleep again until 8:30 or so.  If he did wake up at any other time during the night he would usually just fall back to sleep on his own within minutes.  Well this all changed the other weekend.  He started waking more and NOT falling back to sleep on his own.  It started Friday night when he woke not too long after his feeding and started to cry... we are all for letting him cry it out if it's not too long, but this was getting borderline ridiculous... like there was something really wrong, maybe gas or tummy problems?  The next night he cried for almost TWO HOURS STRAIGHT!  I would go into his room and he would just start smiling at me so I knew he was fine.... he was just awake and did not want to sleep.  Jordan and I both were becoming very frustrated.  I want him to learn that he has to fall back to sleep on his own, but two hours is too long for me.  It is sad to listen to him, plus we need our sleep too and I for one can't sleep knowing he is crying, even if we manage to mask the sound.  Jordan put him on his tummy at one point just to settle him down, and he was instantly fine and fell back to sleep, BUT only on his stomach.  Maybe he was having tummy problems and this was helping, so we let him sleep like this until morning, with apprehension on my part.

Well, this started to become a common theme.  Silas started to revolt against sleeping on his back.  Every night we would put him to sleep on his back, and every night he would start crying instantly. Why now when he had been sleeping fine at night on his back for months? So we started to put him to sleep on his belly, and then flip him (very carefully) after he had fallen to sleep.  But he didn't sleep very long like this before waking again.  Now, some people might be thinking, whats wrong with letting him sleep on his tummy if that's the way he likes to sleep? Jordan's mom, my mom and many other mothers who raised children several decades ago were TOLD to put their babies to sleep on their bellies to prevent choking on spit-up, etc. We all turned out just fine sleeping face down. Now, its the complete opposite.  If I told fellow mothers that I put my baby to sleep on his stomach their jaws would drop, I would be shunned, I would be deemed a horrible parent.  Why? Because "The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that healthy infants be placed on their backs for sleep, as this is the safest position for an infant to sleep. Putting your baby to sleep on his back decreases his chance of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), which is responsible for more infant deaths in the United States than any other cause during the first year of life (beyond the newborn period)."  Everything you read, and every doctor, nurse, healthcare professional will tell you to put your baby to sleep on their back, back is best!!.  So everynight at bedtime I have an internal struggle with placing Silas to sleep on his stomach.  I for one HATE doing it.  Why would I do something that may put my baby at risk of death?  But how likely is this really?  Are there facts to back this up?  He can roll both ways and has great head support so it is fine right? But you are not supposed to do it and he could stop breathing!!!!  So I should just let him cry and be sad and make us sad and no one sleeps?  

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.  

There is so much controversey, but it really seems to be the only thing that works to get him to sleep now, and sleep for long periods of time.  I have read things online about other mothers putting their infants on their bellies to sleep as well, but doing so "quietly" (Girls Gone Child)..  So it has become my dirty little secret, and I still feel selfish, and horrible about doing it, but some of the best advice other parents will tell you is just do what you feel is best for you and your baby, you will just know.  
And we are all sleeping wonderfully.